जब मास्टर ने कहा पप्पु को। हंसकर हो जायेंगे लोटपोट।Funny teacher jokes

जब मास्टर ने कहा पप्पु को। हंसकर हो जायेंगे लोटपोट।Funny teacher jokes 

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1. अध्यापक -तुम बडे मुर्ख हो बालक , मै तुम्हारी उम्र मे अच्छी तरह किताब पढ लेता था |

छात्र - श्रीमान आपको अच्छा मास्टर मिल गया होगा?

2. अध्यापक ने कपिल से कहा - जो काम तुमने नहीं किया , उसके लिए तुम्हें सजा नहीं दी जाएगी | 

कपिल - धन्यवाद सर ! आज में होमवर्क करना भूल गया हूं |

3. एक छात्र ने गणित के अध्यापक से कहा - सर ! अंग्रेजी के अध्यापक तो अंग्रेजी में बातें करते है | आप भी गणित में बात क्यों नहीं करतें ? गणित अध्यापक - ज्यादा तीन पांच न कर फोरन नौ -दो ग्यारह हो जा , नहीं तो चार पांच रख दूगां तो छठी का दूध याद आ जाएगा |

4. शिक्षक ने क्लास में लडके की कॉपी जांचते हुए उससे कहा- मुझे आश्चर्य होता है कि तुम अकेले इतनी सारी गल्तियां करते हों ?

लडके ने खडे होकर कहा - यह सब गल्तियां मैंने अकेले नहीं की हैं , मेरे पिता जी ने भी इसमें मुझे मदद दी है |

5. अध्यापक - तुम कैसे सिद्ध करोगे कि साग-पात खाने वाले की निगाहें तेज होती है |

छात्र - सर , आज तक किसी ने बकरे या घोडे को चश्मा लगाते देखा है क्या ?

6. अध्यापक ( छात्रों से ) - अगर न्यूटन पेड़ के नीचे नहीं बैठते और उनके सिर के ऊपर सेब नहीं गिरता तो गुरुत्वाकर्षण का सिद्धांत हमें कैसे पता चलता |

्छात्र - सर ! बिलकुल सही कहा आपने , अगर न्यूटन हमारी तरह क्लास में बैठकर इसी तरह किताब पढ़ रहे होते तो वो भी कोई आविष्कार नहीं कर पाते |

7. संगीत के अध्यापक ने अपने एक छात्र से पूछा-तुम किस ताल के विषय में अधिक जानते हो ? छात्र ने तुरंत उत्तर दिया - सर ! में हडताल के विषय में अधिक जानता हुं |

8. अध्यापक - बोलो बच्चों गंगा नदी पटियाला से निकलती है |

भावना (छात्रा ) - सर नहीं गंगा नदी पटियाला से नहीं निकलती |

प्रिंसिपल - महोदय आप भी कैसे अध्यापक है | गंगा नदी पटियाला से नहीं गंगोत्री से निकलती है |

अध्यापक - प्रिंसिपल महोदय , गंगा नदी पटियाला से ही निकलती है तथा तब तक निकलती रहेगी , जब तक मेरी सात महीने की तनखाह नहीं मिल जाती |

9. अध्यापक - रोहन , अगर तुम्हारे पास पंद्रह सेब हों जिनमें से छः तुम निर्मला को दे दो , चार सुनिता को दे दो और पांच डौली को दे दो तो तुम्हें क्या मिलेगा ?

रोहन - सर ! मुझे तीन नई गर्ल्स फ्रेंड़ मिलेगी

10. अध्यापक - शाबाश दीपक , मुझे खुशी है कि तुमने इतने अच्छे अंक लिए | आगे भी ऐसे ही अच्छे अंक लेना |

दीपक - अच्छा सर , पर आप भी परचे भाई साहब के प्रेस में छपवाते रहिएगा |

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